Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

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